MARRIED YET SEARCHING

Married Yet Searching?

One noon while I was tucked in my work ,my phone buzzed incessantly and I was tempted to interrupt my work flow by checking who it was. To my dismay ,it was an old friend. He had sent me series of messages which included questions like: where are you ,Can we hook up, What have you been up to all these years, miss our friendship?" I became so angry and decided to feed the questions with reasonable answers:" Is today public holiday or why are you checking up on me". Then he went on, "can't I just check up on a lovely friend" &" I asked so I am on that list". 

Yes you might wonder what list? But I tell you, every man and woman have a list of people whom they crushed or nearly got married to.

There is no wrong in having a list ,as it isn't a deliberate task. However, I have issues with married men who use this list to the detriment of some single ladies. Personally, I have quite a number of them and i tell them..." What are you looking for"(ki lo n wa), "What where you thinking of when you married her"  why go all the way then you suddenly remembered I was a lovely friend.

And this is what I call wickedness and deceit. Making friends with your crush is not always a  good option especially when you are now married. You will only punish yourselves with memories . In cases where you can handle it both, fine. In other times, the lady is often on the receiving end if she is single. Most times, these married men come with soothing words of a crazy and helpless lover, just to ensure they get the lady as a prey. I pray you don't fall a prey. Some would even tell you some stories about their marriage and how their wives have not lived up to expectations. But all is a bait for a new prey. You need to take your stand. Do not indulge them for a day else they will corrupt your memory.

Now my grouse is this, you liked this babe and was a good friend of hers before you took another to the altar. Then you wake up suddenly and want to tell her how much you 
wished you had married her. You then start by reminiscing on the good old days. Haba!


"Bros" you can't eat your cake and still have it with ice cream. I often look at getting married or marriage proposals as a "choice". For every young man or women who gets married, he or she must have picked from a group of friends. Now my point is this, at the juncture of picking, you must have screened all the available & unavailable options then you eventually picked one. So why would you one day demand loyalty from the one you saw as a wrong choice. Mind you, whether or not you utilized the principle of " when the desirable is not available the available becomes the desirable" is not important for deliberation. You chose and you have it so what are you looking for again. The meal you ordered is right in front of you, so why search through the menu. 

Yes! I understand business relationship might come up sometimes or your path might cross hers on one or two occasion, or may be you just feel like talking to someone but when you decide to make it a daily thing or make friends with her to the point of calling her pet names like," baby ,beautiful etc" then we should suspect you are in for an emotional affair. On the other hand, if a married man addresses you, a single lady as "baby "or any other romantically suspicious name, then you might need to correct such if indeed you don't want to help him destroy his home.

Well I may be wrong for thinking the friendship been initiated is not platonic. You may think today's review is too harsh on the guys, you wonder if a married man should not have female friends right? Or is it wrong for a married man or woman to make friends with his crush?

You are free to send in your views to the comment box or my mail box iamolabusola@gmail.com.My next post would be on people's view on this subject.


Once again thank you for reading Olabusola's review.I remain your loyal host Olabusola Olorunnowo.