HOW TO RELATE WITH A TOUGH BOSS

HOW TO RELATE WITH A TOUGH BOSS

You are welcome to Olabusola's review and today's discourse focuses on one of the subject discussed on the Christian Employee Series. The essense of this is to understand, How to Live in Love with Your Boss, despite the kind of boss you may have.

This topic sounds like what some Christians will bind and reject because the boss already has a tag “the devil” and what the bible says we should do to the devil is to resist him. Well, I think if it is by resisting “the devil” that God wants us to handle our relationship with our bosses, by now they should be no more because when we resist “the devil” he flees. If you have resisted “the devil” and he has not fled, perhaps it is time you considered another approach to deal with him.

The bible teaches that we love God by keeping His commandments and these commandments are not burdensome (1 John 5:3). The question is what are these commandments? A Lawyer once asked Jesus same question in Matthew 22:36 and the answer He gave which is still very relevant to us is that to love God with all our heart, soul and mind is the first and the great commandment and the second is to love our neighbour as ourselves. Here is the thing, to keep the first and great commandment; i.e. to love God, you have to keep the second. 1 John 4: 20-22 says we are liars if we claim we love God that we cannot see when we don’t love our brethren whom we see. This means that loving our brethren is the proof that we love God.

And loving our brethren is not a recompense for their good deeds but a mandatory lifestyle for Christians regardless of what is done or not done by the other person. God showed us an example of this unconditional love when He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins so that through Him we can live. We were given this opportunity not because we love God or we were morally good to qualify for such gesture, but simply because He loves us (1 John 4:9-11, Romans 5:8).

Dear Christian Employee, let me put this succinctly, your love for God is demonstrated by your love for others, chief among who is your boss that you have a contact with almost every day.

I know that oftentimes you feel like beating the hell out of him because of what you consider his excessive irrationalities, but the standard of God for us is to still love ‘the heaven into’ him. I know this is not one of the easiest things to do, just like living a holy life in this world is almost like pushing a boulder up a hill, but the life we have been called to is to shine in darkness. It is therefore possible to love your boss despite all odds because the grace is sufficient and God will not ask us to do what He has not given us the grace to do.

  

Here are some guidelines to help us live in love with our bosses.

1. See God in him/her

There is no Christianity without love and this is that which is God himself. In other words, love is God and if I say I love someone, I am saying I appreciate God in the person. This means that I love the person not because of what he did or did not do, but because I know he is a creation of God and God loves him so much that He gave His own Son to die for Him and take away his sins just like He did to me.

When Joseph was approached by his master, Potiphar’s wife to have an affair with her, he refused to give in and he did that on the account of God. He said to her that his master entrusted all things in his hand except the wife and that he cannot sin against God by sleeping with her (Gen 39:9). Joseph’s main reason for not giving in to the temptation was because he saw God in the whole situation, the basis of our love. He did not say he didn’t want to betray his boss, but God in this case.

Same is true of David with his boss Saul. Saul was aggressively after David’s life and David had the opportunity to take him out on some occasions but he did not because he considered his boss the Lord’s anointed. We also see his reaction to the guy that helped Saul to die. David was irate with him because he was not afraid to destroy the “Lord’s anointed”. David did not see a wicked boss killed, but he saw the Lord’s anointed despite all Saul did to him.

2. Appreciate the place of wisdom

The nature of work is such that there are many dynamics that come to play. People do have ambitions, sometimes inordinate and they can do everything to achieve it. We should also not leave out office politicking, office romance, the authority of the boss etc. that determine a lot of what happens in the workplace. Loving our bosses does not excuse us from being street wise and knowing well how to play the game, albeit in the proper way. Read Eccl 7:12.

It is wisdom to know when to separate yourself from your boss because of the way he treats you. Proverbs 21:19 tells us it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman. Living in love with your boss does not mean you are stuck with him and must bear all the irrationalities, there is time for everything, time to stay and time to walk away. Do not forget also that you are to flee from all appearances of evil.

3. Understand there is a difference between Godly love (Agapao) and fleshly love (Phileo).

The major difference I can point out for the two is that one is from the spirit (Agapao) and the other from human senses/feelings (Phileo). The Christian kind of love I am talking about is the nature of God that is imparted when we surrendered the leadership of our lives to Jesus Christ. It does not flow out of our senses or feelings but the very nature of God, the new man that we are in Christ. We grow in this love as we grow in our relationship with God. Depending on the level of your relationship with God, it may be easier for some to demonstrate this love than others but you also can start growing in it.

4. Apply the Law of Confession

When we receive the Spirit of God as we accept Jesus as our saviour, we also receive the spirit of love, and that becomes our nature. But because our minds through learning are programmed to react to things/people in annoyance when they trespass into our territories, we tend to respond spontaneously to whatever they do based on the interpretation our senses give to their actions. We need to learn to subject our minds to the Holy Spirit.

If you are to be conformed to the image of Christ, you must continuously work on being transformed by the renewing your mind. If you would grow in demonstrating godly love to others, you must consistently call those things that are not as though they were. Confessing the word of God helps us to reflect the word. You must have the word of God you confess that builds the power in you to reflect this love.

For instance, I can build a confession around Romans 5:5

“And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given to us”

So every morning I can confess that –

“Today, as I go to the office, I reflect the love of God which is shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Ghost. I do not struggle to do this because it is not by my power and might but by the Spirit of God. Therefore, as (you can mention the name of your boss) speaks to me rudely, I have responded calmly because God’s love is shown through me to him as I am a workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that He has ordained for me to work in. My calm and articulate response to him has given me an opportunity to do a good work for the kingdom of God”.

5. Understand that loving your boss does not mean the absence of conflict and confrontation.

That you love your boss does not mean the truth cannot prevail; we must however act in love when we have to defend the truth. We must also act respectfully when defending the truth.
Peter showed a good example that can guide us on how to check our bosses.

Matthew 16:22 (Amp)

"Peter took Him aside [to speak to Him privately] and began to reprimand Him, saying, “May God forbid it! This will never happen to you.”

Jesus talked about His suffering and death in Jerusalem and Peter who had just revealed Jesus as the Son of the living God felt his boss was speaking gibberish. He totally disagreed with the views of his boss and out of respect, took his boss away from everybody to rebuke Him. The lesson here is not just the taking away of his boss (it may not always be possible to take your boss away from a group, you may have to voice out your contrary opinion on the spot), but the spirit behind the action.

Some Practical Ways to Demonstrate Love to our Bosses

There are several descriptions of love in the bible and these we can practice in our relationships with our bosses;

- Love never seeks its own. Seeks that which is above Colossians 3:1 & 2
- It’s not provoked
- Thinks no evil
- Rejoices in the truth (the word of God – John 17:17)
- It never takes advantage of the ignorant
- It does not remember the evil committed against it
- Does not celebrate the weakness and failure of others
- It does not rejoice in evil things
- It’s not happy when its enemy has been defeated
- It bears the burden of others
- Never fails
- Endures all things
- It destroys selfishness. 

One way we can understand love very well is when we understand selfishness. The most important thing about selfishness is “me”. 

Akindele Afolabi
Career Edge Limited
Author, Christian Employee Series


Yes! the most commonly used Pronoun is "I" and "Me" and this will only place more emphasis on self and your capacities which will never sustain you as long as you are on this planet.

 Most times we get offended when we consider ourselves as the victim of the hurt, but if we give excuse for the offence. It reduces the extent of the pain in our heart. Unforgiveness is what often fuel unhealthy confrontations.

Relying on the Holy Spirit for his help to love every and anyone is really needed. Please note that having wisdom is profitable for your daily direction.

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Thank you all for your time on Olabusola's Review and thank you to Mr Akindele Afolabi who agreed to have us review his series.

I remain your loyal host, Olabusola Olorunnowo. 
Stay connected to your purpose.