HOW TO BUILD YOUR CHILD'S SELF ESTEEM

Situations often teach us how to behave at times and this I can draw from a scene that unwrapped like a script at an event. It was a wedding event and it was time to dance with the bride and the friends of the bride were not ready to compromise that dance with any other activity.

At that juncture, I noticed an elegantly dressed lady who seem very eager to follow the dance train yet she was constrained by her sons, who seem ready to tag along. Now she would not want such a beautiful distraction at this time, so she looked at her first son who was about ten years and she spoke in a subtle voice to him. Their gaze met and he seem more confident now. I pondered on what she was saying to him so I moved closer and I realized, she had just reassured him of how much she trust him and how well she feels he would look after his two younger brothers till the mum returns.

My mind could not but reflect on that conversation between the mother and son and I truly agree that parents need to take a pulse and consider how they build or damage the self esteem of their children. This damage can be done unconsciously. This young lady, returned and found her older son and two younger sons well seated simply because she made the older son feel responsible for the younger ones.

No child is too young to be accountable for a given task or offence. But how we relate or deal with them matters more. By reassuring him that she loves and trust him, gave the handsome boy some level of confidence. I knew within me that, what will keep running through the mind of this Ten year old boy would be, that Mummy trust me and so he would try his best to make his mum proud.

It is so amazing that just the way most adult do not want to be scolded in public, same applies to these children. Dear parents, please try not to ridicule or embarrass your child in the process of correcting him or her. Gone are those days when public rebuke may work repentance, in recent times, it breeds bitterness and low self esteem. Hence the need not to make jest of the mistakes or failures of your children, to avoid making them more stubborn and rebellious.

A lot of parents have damaged their children's esteem with their reactions and choice of words. This article is to challenge us as parents and guardians to build our wards and children by reassuring them daily of our love and trust in them. Even when they fail, we need to reassure them that we are sure that they will do better next time.
All we need to do is to show or explain to them better techniques to use in future.  Let them know you believe they will run the errands and will deliver great result. Once a child sense that there is doubt in the air, it will only pose an insecurity challenge. A child would be free to make friends with his parents and to communicate with them on any and everything once there is no trust issues.

Every child needs to know that he or she is responsible and accountable for himself and other people around them. The earlier they know this, the more confidence and caring they will become.



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