"What If "

Recently I had the privilege of dining with a great teacher and friend of mine in company of other friends. As we waited for the table to be served, our conversation drifted from Integrity in service to quality control, then to the challenges faced by mystery shoppers, after which we looked at how fair treatment of employees of organisations can help the sustainability of that business.

Soon Dinner was set, hence our conversation came to a halt with a table garnished with Pounded yam and Bitter leaf -Egusi soup, which was welcomed with a delightful Red Wine, whose name I wont mention as it the savour left the mind hovering on the next discourse. The panache with which the meal was served left us all lost in a beautiful mind resort, that did not allow us view the time.

However, the subject of 'what if,' was the last discourse on the table and it was more interesting to me as it resonated with memories and thoughts, due to the fact that it relate more with marriage. My host asked us a simple but rhetorical question : "What if, the Chef had brought in an extra dish of Pounded yam, after the first dish was exhausted". Now he continued, without waiting for verbal answers, as we all looked at one another, Oh yes he said, if another bowl came on to the table, there is a high possibility that we would all devour it gradually. Unfortunately, because we know there is no extra or alternative pounded yam, we have readjusted our minds to the fact that, that is the end of the meal.

In the same vein , we can relate it to different instances in marital relationships , once there is a "WHAT IF" plan or a "Plan B", one would find out that in future, you will gravitate towards that alternative plan. The human instinct will always tell you not to worry or bother about the immediate challenge, since there is a plan B. If for instance, you already have another house or apartment, once your spouse offends you, you will find it easy to move out and move in to that apartment, even if it is for a period of time. But there is no alternative plan, you will learn to forgive, accommodate, speak in love and stay loyal till you resolve the challenge.

This phrase might also pose as a challenge for single people as well. Once you get into marriage with a plan B then there is a likely hood that the plan B will aid the break of such home. While dating, people sometimes have back up plans, such as if my relationship does not work well with this guy or lady or if this person disappoints me I can always date this other one. But in marriage, once you have no back up plan, you will work hard to make it work,  because marriage is hard work. Yes we need God , prayers and much more in marriage but we also need to have no alternative to our partners.

No back up or alternative... we all know things that can stand as our what if and the earlier we rule it out the best for us. FORGIVENESS is not easy but it is a necessity in every relationship.


Thank you for your time .