7 REASONS MARRIAGES FAIL

Why Marriages Fail


 I see captions like "Do not marry the    wrong spouse" or "Marriages fail because people marry wrongly". 

I beg to defer, by saying that yes it is possible to marry for the wrong reasons but there is nothing like marrying the wrong spouse. People marry the "Right Man or Right Woman/Lady" but eventually things turn out badly and then the "Right" becomes the "wrong".

Don't forget that at the point of "Yes I Do" or at the altar, they both knew and believed it is the right man or lady. Most people fell in love with the "Right man and lady". Unfortunately, things happen, unforseen reactions and disaster sets in and in no time the good becomes bad. The beautiful becomes the ugly and the great man becomes the foolish man and so on.

7 Reasons Marriages Fail.

1) Some people marry for the wrong reasons, which may include money, lust of the eye, lust of the flesh, pride of life , peer pressure, parental pressure, societal influence, just to mention a few.

2) Societal Influence

The society for instance make life seem like hell for single ladies. You can not go to church without someone making you their prayer point. There is a continuous reminder of the need to be "complete", ideal or to be responsible. As a bachelor, they ask why you like woman, they forget you should not marry a man and when you mistakenly talk of hunger, they say , had it being you are married you will have someone to cook for you.

In the offices, people constantly tickle you with, " Oh leave Jane, she is married to her job", some would daily say things to scorn you, while others would just laugh over it. Yes! The emotional trauma is capable of leading one into temptation or to marry wrongly. The society constantly makes a single lady or man feel irresponsible if not married. This pressure at times makes person in question marry without dotting their "I" and crossing their "T" s.

3) Lack Of Preparedness For The Journey

A lot of people expend and plan for the wedding day more than they plan for the marriage (journey). The wedding day is just some few hours in the endless journey of marriage. The planning for the day is crucial hence the reason it is always overwhelming. However, preparing for the journey of marriage entails, reading books, asking questions, learning from other people's experiences as well as painting a picture of a 5-10 years , 10-20 years plan of how the home or marriage would look like.
 

As a man or lady, your written vision and perception will also align you to persons with similar dreams. Many youths only plan for the moment. Life extends beyond today hence we need to live for tomorrow and not just today. Preparedness doesn't counter the fact that people evolve with time and that you can not totally know a person, rather preparedness guides you in the journey.

4) Accountability Partners
Every human beings loves freedom moreover, the natural instinct of human beings is to first make himself comfortable. Now the essence of accountability partners is that, they help to put the parties involved in a check. As a Christian the Word of God should be your first accountability partner. If your fiancé or fiancée can not honour the Word of God and what is written in it, then he or she can not honour you.

Secondly, there is need for physical accountability partners. Someone who is married, whom you both respect and can listen to. Sometimes couples have one or two but it is important to have a credible accountability partner who can give advise where necessary. An accountability partner is needed during the courtship and in the marriage. They share relevant experiences that can help you understand things beyond feeling. They will help you prob your fiancé or fiancée. This saves time and emotions.

5) The little foxes
The little foxes destroys many marriages yet they were existing during courtship only that many intending couples often ignore the little signs. In fact we see them as minor things or trivia issues.

Little foxes such as : jealousy (some people say it is love, but you may need to differentiate love from being overtly possessive. He or she is always checking your phones, highly suspicious of your movements... ), greed, anger, lack of trust, infidelity, desperation (being ambitious is different from when a man or woman has a crab mentality or is desperate to be famous or rich at any cost), laziness ; some men do not want to work or over labour themselves, some would hide under the guise of "God's calling" while the wife will be at two jobs. These little foxes are indications of calamity. Some people would say I can correct or change that behaviour in him once we get married.

They forget that only a fresh fish can be twisted, a frozen fish cannot be twisted and if you twist it forcefully, you might end up hurting yourself. You need to watch out for it. For instance, he has not married you and he rages like a thunder or roars like a lion even in public then you say, "he only gets angry like that because he loves me". My lady, you need no seer to tell you, battering is staring you in the face.

In recent times, we hear of marital murders: a man stabbing his wife and a wife the husband. Some of these couples saw the uncomfortable signs before the marriage but they felt they could manage it. My advice is that you deal with your fears and discomforts about your fiancé and fiancée before getting married. Discuss those things, find out how to help him or her get over it.

 If therapy works fine but if those little signs seem too hard to change, don't say "after all there is no perfect man" or "I am in my mid or late 20's , 30's, or 40's , where will I start from, if I let him go".  I tell it is better to be unmarried than to develop a terminal sickness due to a failed marriage. For every broken marriage, there were signs.

6) Lack Of Innovations
So many organizations are rebranding and working on new strategies to stay in business. Your marriage is your business. Unfortunately, many husbands and wives have stopped selling. You had a good sales before marriage but now you have forgotten their marital economy is interrelated to a bigger economy. If you fail, you have failed the society and if you succeed the turn over will help the society. This is why creativity is essential even in the home. You need to update your knowledge on sustaining your home. Only a wise person will keep her home or his home. There is need for innovative strategies and rebranding in the kitchen, cooking, the bedroom, your bedroom arrangement, the house decor, your look as the sales person and much more.

 In the world of advertising, attractive pictures are used in influencing the consumer behaviour. You equally need to stylishly and continuously ensure your consumer is not distracted by the numerous brands out there. Once you sign the marriage contract you must ensure you sustain your selling point.

7) The God Factor

You need God to know if he wants that person for you. Your relationship with God determines your relationship with man. God initiated the institution of marriage, so  you can not play this game better than the master. Tell God everything, from the time nobody seem to interest you, to the point you found a crush.

Tell him to guide you. Christ suffered so you would not suffer, so why would you want to go through the pain of picking a partner by yourself. Pray to God to show you signs that, the man or lady is suitable for you. God speaks to us, only that we are too busy doing things our way, to listen to him. We need to keep talking to God, even when we see the little foxes appearing, we still need him to direct us.

Thank you for your time on Olabusola's Review.

Sources: Observation
Discussions on relationship @HICC Ceil
Residual knowledge on Advertising


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