HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR CRUSH

A crush is simply regarded as someone you are attracted to or who is attracted to you.

There is need to note, that not all crush leads to a promising relationship. Some crush build up likeness which may only stop at the level of friendship, as the persons involved may not be bold enough to confront their fears and speak up until the lady is taken by another.

Most times, these young men are either too afraid to speak because of your intelligence, your attitude, your charisma, the impression or information they have about you, inferiority or superiority complex. Many people take the first smile that is reciprocated by an admirer, as a nudge to proceed, meanwhile this nudge might be met with a odd stare hence making the young man have a re-strategise or give up.

 Now dealing with your crush,does not have a straight Jacket answer. This is due to the fact that, one may need to understand why you need to deal with your crush. It is most commonly seen that a young man or lady is attracted to or has a crush on a lady or guy and the person in question is crushing on another. This case can be painfully annoying, when you have a crush on someone and that person is often talking about his feeling for another or given attention to another.  In the same vein, there are equally, fewer cases, where you find two people having a crush on each other and acknowledging it. Consequently, it does not mean that if both parties acknowledge they are attracted to each other, there must be a relationship, rather there has to be a review of interest and an understanding of the purpose of dating.

DEALING WITH A CRUSH YOU DISLIKE

I once had a crush who would save my display picture then redesign it into several duplicates and outfits: from Indian Outfit to Reverend Sister's outfit then to Cleopatra's outfit, then he will send it back to me, He even, had a pet name for me. He calls me B.B. (now am smiling, as I remember the guy) His messages and smile, often seem hilarious to me. He would see me and compliment my looks...in my mind I will be slapping his head yet unknown to me, I was killing his gut with silence until i spoke to a friend, who demanded, that i call him and tell him how i really feel about him.

This suggestion works in most cases. All you need to do is to tell him you would like to see or speak with him. Then once the opportunity is granted, you can tell him, you like his person and that you have noticed his signals and expression but you would rather prefer you both keep been friends for now. If he wants to take offence or plead, you can just tell him, it is not about you, meaning there is nothing wrong with you, rather i may to talk to myself. This is only an excuse, not to make him feel less of himself.

It is very painful, when a guy molest a lady who express more love and attention for him. This is the reason, it is more healthy for the guy to love the lady more. You will agree with me that it always better if the love is 70:30 or 60:40 between the two. When the guy loves the lady more, he will go out of his way to seek and to keep her. But if the love is more from the lady's angle, then frustration will set in sooner than not. Experience has shown that she will always be striving to please him, while the guy will get easily irritated by her presence or attitude. The only thing that will sustain such relationship is the family, sex , material things and money, which is not ideal.

GUYS

However, for the male folks, please do not let you likeness just die away like that. That astute and smart lady also has a soft spot and you can not assume that she is taken. Remember there is a risk in every action. It is better to speak up rather than regret later, when you find out she is dating someone whom you are sure has a wrong motive. Ensure you find a way,place and time to say it anyhow or somehow. If it is meant to be it will. Most times what we are afraid of, are often afraid of us. There is no harm in trying. All you need to do is to raise a conversation and then comment on her look or something. You can ask if find you both can go see something you think she find amusing and ensure you nail your point when you the opportunity to be with her. Please be careful with sarcasm or flirting with her too early in the friendship and if you do and she put up a frowns, just apologize and keep up your focus.

A good woman is like a lost treasure, you do not rest until it is in your possession. You equally need to find out about her from all avenues. Read her profile on social media, check her post and her kind of friends, view their comment on her post to know if she is truly, who she seem to be. Do not just assume she will reject you. You need to try. I hate to hear a guy say, I really liked that babe only that I just could not talk... No please. A guy once told his friend about his crush for a babe and his friend said but the babe seem tough, why not lets just make friends with her. The guy instead of yielding his friend's advice just went straight to ask this babe out and she declined. He got discouraged and just left her. His friend patiently built a steady friendship with this babe and after a while they dated. One felt smart while the other felt cheated. The moral is, a woman needs a guy who seem to understand her. Eight out of every lady out there, wants to date a friend. The fear of the unknown is a factor that affect both the young man and the lady.


On a general note, you do not have to respond negatively to people you do not like. Been polite is one of the greatest lessons of etiquette. That you dislike this person does not give you the right to condemn , molest or insult them.
You may need to have a talk with them and politely advice them to preserve their love for another because you are not interested. You should be careful not to dent the image or self esteem of an admirer, rather makes friends with them but be sure to draw a line. You will always need your crush or admirer in future, so be careful how you treat them today.

Some ladies will tell the young man, you are too poor for me,you can't take care of me, you are too short, you are my younger brother, you are too old for me, you are ugly, you are not in my class and much more.While some ladies would just use silence to respond. Been polite is the best way to treat and admirer because we all do not know what the future holds.

DEALING WITH A CRUSH YOU HAVE CRUSH ON

This seem easy but it is very delicate , What if the something happens and he or she falls in love with another along the way.

Be very sure and smart about it. Ensure you really find him irresistible and that the feeling is mutual. You also need to do a ground work by researching a little about this person before you proceed to build a relationship. You can then take a bold step, especially after waiting for so long time and he seem to be finding it hard to summon up courage to speak with you. You can equally find one of the times you both are together and infuse a discussion about his girlfriend to know if he has one. If he skips the conversation, find another avenue to ask. If he ask you why you want to know about his girlfriend, tell him you want to make friends with her, as you are not comfortable with his closeness with you. If he behaves defensive or evasive, you can tell him you like the way he relates with you but you will prefer if you both can spell it out properly.

Despite your crush for him, you have to flirt or play less so as to get the truth. You also need to study his reactions and his expressions, does he sound sincere. Does he seem relieved, excited or very quiet. The feeling has to be mutual and it does not still stop there, you still need to give him space after that conversation to make him desire you.

A man is to do the chasing. Men often appreciates  and places more value on what they worked or stress out themselves to get.  If for any reason, you have prompted him, you may still need to behave like you do not really need him. A woman needs to play her game smartly by been available and not been available for every conversation, once you know it is mutual. Then you may also need to spend time to find out about him from other avenues, so you can ascertain he his not a player.
Another thing you can do is to speak to a more matured friend who you can be responsible to about him.

 Always try to tuck in,all your excitement until the relationship kick start.  Pray also to God about it and be sure you have your inner peace. Not all men are the same but all players have similar motives so be careful about crushing on your crush. Adequate research about your crush is never too much. So do not ever assume he means what you are thinking. Ask questions and get clarification. Also note that all relationships, no matter how short or long needs an accountability counselor, who guides you on necessary steps to be taken per time. This is because not all relationship are the same and you see little when you are emotional involved with a person.

Thank you for visiting Olabusola's Review. I will be glad to have more of you on this site.
I humble writer Olabusola Olorunnowo.


NEXT on issues of Crush is Individuals view and experiences followed by DEALING WITH A CRUSH AS A MARRIED WOMAN