Why Do Some Guys Lead Ladies On Without Declaring Their Intentions On Time.

Why Some Guys Lead Ladies On Without Declaring Their Intentions  On Time.

I welcome you all to Tales by Olola, a blog where we discuss topical issues, share opinion and help one another to be re-positioned in other to live a purposeful life. Am your loyal host, Olabusola Olorunnowo

An argument ensued between two folks and I pondered on the cause. It soon dawned on me that it was an issue that most of us might have heard of or experienced.

The issue was a case of identical twins that had a very close friend who is very beautiful, and everyone assumed she was dating either one of them. They had often competed to care for her. Their friendship was arguably a good one until one evening when they both went to see her with their wedding invite. 

Hmmm! This was a great shock for her. Apparently she was expecting that a day would come when one of the twins will express his feelings towards her.  Unfortunately, that day never came. She became so dejected that she accused them of wasting her time.

This explains why they were arguing...

This scenario has played itself out in the life of many ladies. A guy just keeps hanging around you, making you wait after class, religious service, and work and so on. He runs little errands with you or for you. He advises you on work, career, school or religious related issues.

He showers you with compliments & gifts sometimes; he finds it easy to make you his confident. Both of you compete to say goodnight & good morning to each other. Friends & family already know him with you & if you are without him they would be forced to ask about him.

There is no doubt he likes you. Some would even give you a peck on your cheek if you allow it, yet they don't mean it more than that; just a peck on the cheek!

Who does that? This however, brings us to the discussion for today: Why do men hang around ladies for so long, without declaring their intentions? Let us discuss reasons and consequence.

Grace Erubami Auditor

That's exactly what most guys do ooo
You ll just be hanging out thinking they will vomit what they have inside. I wonder why they behave like that.

Oyinda I find this topic really interesting because i have been a victim. This is guy is everywhere but inside me. It's an understatement that people knew us together. In fact the day this particular guy got married someone asked me, "what went wrong? that we heard he jilted you". It was then i had to tell the person there was no serious relationship in the first place, hence there was neither a break up nor a jilting. But how many people would the lady explain this to. This is why i advice ladies, when he appears to be always there or when he behaves like you are dating, please seat him down and ask him :"young man, please what do you want with me" Don't allow a man to toy with your emotion or body then start living in regret. Then commit yourselves to someone that you both can be responsible to. You also need to pray to God to direct you.

Tony Pharmacist I understand this can be painful for the ladies but then you as a guy might be taking your time to understudy the lady in question properly. Another reason is that some ladies know your intention  yet they keep pretending and then they friend zone you. When you wait around for a while, a time will come when another lady will distract you by then she would have realized her mistake then she will start saying "he jilted me or he wasted my time"

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Mercy King (Fashion Consultant)I think there are several reasons for these. Some guys don't really know what they want, some are in d relationship for d fun of it, some don't have a mind of their own their friends and family members decide for them while some guys believe they can still get some one better.

Samuel   That i have a crush on you does not mean i must marry you neither does it mean am leading you on. Mind you feelings build at times between two people and you can’t denial it rather we can work it out maturely. It now depends on how truthful we are.

PROUDLY KING TJ »»» When a purpose of a thing is not known,abuse is unavoidable! When a guy and a lady gets into a relationship without a clear-cut definition of where the relationship is leading or heading to,the "lady's" usually gets emotionally broken!!! Ladies!!! Wake-up and be wise. Don't let any guy play you for a fool. Relationship is more than the emotions of love,it is about value adding. #My opinion!

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Fatty Financial Accountant ^^^ There is god o. But it is painful to know you won’t marry this babe, yet you want to be involved in her life and you won’t allow other gentle men with good intentions to access her. You are just placing a tag on a product you don’t need. This just like going into a store and removing and item from the shelves and putting it in your trolley, then at the point of payment you drop it on the counter or return it.  You would have succeeded in building an emotional tie then you now start friend zoning her. This is why girls need to open their eyes and not their legs to weigh this guy. Use your 5 senses: touch his heart and sense if it is hot or cold for you, hear to what he is saying but sieve it to know the truth... Never say his love will grow. It is easier for a lady to grow in love for a man than the other way meaning it is better for him to love you and sincerely chase you rather than you doing the chasing because you will get tired and he will leave you once he spot another gullible or naive babe.

BIMZY ... It is an act of insincerity on the part of the guys. Some guys are naturally play guys: they want to play around before they settle down,they believe they should enjoy themselves, while some believe they are still young so they just want to taste all kinds of women. In the process of getting what they want they pretend, especially to some decent girl by deceiving her. At times they even feel jealous when they sense another guy is interested in this particular lady. This why ladies should watch out and not be carried away by sweet words.

Telema Sport Analyst  Some ladies are desperate to settle down. They just want you to pop out the question. So even when you want them to go one mile with you they are already offering 20 miles and if you decline. They will say "am i not beautiful, what else do you want  and all sought". So as a guy you are forced to just take it slow till her eyes opens and she realizes that she is the only one in the relationship.  



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Anto Interior Designer Some guys are just shy. Infact they are very shy. They keep on talking about this babe to their friends yet they won’t summon the courage to speak their mind. They send the babe gifts, greetings via social media and smile whenever there is eye contact. They can say “Hi or how are you doing?” and that are will be all. To hold a conversation with the lady would mean a herculean task.  But one day when they see an engagement on her finger, they stare as if they have just seen a ghost. For me i think guys should understand that some of their gestures build emotional blocks, hence they should try to make up their minds on time. Also ladies should get busy, stop listening and following only signals. If in three months he is not saying anything please deemphasize him. But above all please always talk to God about your emotional desires and troubles. He alone can lead you aright.

Tunde  Some ladies are funny. A guy likes you does not mean he want to date or marry you. A guy needs to do what a guy needs to do. Apologies to the Babes and women alike but i feel you people make matters worse for a guy. In school& some places for instance you see the serious competition among some babes over one guy directly and indirectly and you say make the poor boy no flex. Abeg even a Pastor or an Iman go flex when you over shadow him with excess of everything. Both sex need to be disciplined and know where to draw the line. If i must say it is easier for a lady to caution a guy than for the guy to caution himself. When you restrict or allow a guy he knows and when you stand on your decision he would find another babe.

Wow! I sincerely appreciate all the comments so far. Thank you all for making this session impacting.